Breaking the cycle

Breaking the cycle

People talk about how bad it is that such awful things happen to such beautiful people.  My higher self tells me: ‘It is those open to growth that will find a way to face their deep suffering; for they are the ones that have the intelligence, resilience, beauty, determination, forgiveness and compassion to take the gifts they get from those experiences and go out there and do something with them, to teach, to help, to make a difference; but ultimately to touch peoples lives to create change and empower’.

I believe it is those people that really do break the more negative cycles that have pre-existed for generations.  Very often people I work with talk about how they feel they just don’t fit in, that feeling of being a square peg in a round hole.  There is a vulnerability around that feeling like somehow they are wrong ‘not to fit in’.  I put this down, largely, to the resistance they come up against from those around them; as though on some level they have to conform to what they have been taught or shown; and most likely the subsequent internal resistance that can follow on as a result. 

Breaking the cycle can feel very isolating, especially if you are surrounded by people that are part of that negative cycle.  It can also cause a great deal of conflict as you may be pushing against something or someone that has massive resistance and fear around change.  Quite likely the knock on effect is they will either consciously or subconsciously take action to test your authenticity in a bid to desist their own need for change.  I am of the personal opinion that if people want to change they will and if they don’t they won’t; it is as simple as that.  Although it might be worth considering that sometimes for our survival we have to change. 

My own journey of ‘breaking the cycle’ has been a challenge, not because I have had a personal resistance in doing so, far from it, but moreover I have encountered massive resistance from others in somehow wanting to have control over allowing me to sit with my own values and ultimately stand in my power.  I have questioned myself a lot!  Why do they care?  Why do I care?  What could I have done differently?  I don’t try to control others, so why do they try to control me?  I never impose my values on others, but I do stand up for them, so why do they try to do that to me?  One thing I have learnt is that giving too much thought to it can all be a bit of a pointless and unfathomable puzzle.  The stance I take these days is one of acceptance.  Let go and live!

The driving force behind my own desire to break a negative cycle and create something that is more positive and constructive is genuinely as a result of what I have experienced.  There is something in my makeup that loathes any kind of human suffering and how the cause and resulting effect can really shape a person’s life for the negative.  I believe that the survival of human suffering is something that should be celebrated not perpetuated.  My deep and intrinsic desire to keep on breaking those negative cycles, is not only to give some positive meaning to my own experiences, but also to keep hold of a little pocket of hope that it will on some level do the same for others.

There is not a standard format or rule book that can be adhered to in our quest to break the negative cycles.  Those cycles break only when we have an openness to want to change our lives for the better.  It takes guts and courage because it means stepping out of a box filled with familiarity, control and ‘perceived’ safety.  By stepping away from the familiarity, control and ‘perceived’ safety we step in to a vastness of uncertainty.  It is when we come to accept that nothing in life is certain and we learn to work with that fear rather than against it, we can then cross that barrier.  One thing is for sure it is on the other side of that barrier that we will at least have a chance to find openness, freedom, expansion and possibility. 

Interestingly I started an instagram account very recently related to my work and, although I am not a great social media guru (far from it), it has been a good test of where I am at personally with my perceived need for certainty and possible control.  I love being creative so I have enjoyed the process and I have even acquired a few followers and some likes :).  But with all honesty it is the process of being creative and expressive that has felt so liberating, not sitting in a box for fear of what others may think and why my thoughts or opinion would even matter.  The fact is they will matter to some and won’t do to others, that is the freedom of choice, but what is important, after all, is that they matter to me.  The fact is that some people will follow you, just so you follow them back, and then subsequently they will unfollow you purely to attain that all important following (bloody hell it’s exhausting just writing that process out, let alone putting energy in to physically going through it) but again that is the freedom of choice. 

I guess the moral of the story is that when you do something that is authentic and real you will ultimately get back something that is authentic and real; and perhaps it won’t be instant and you may have to overcome a few tests on that journey, but it’s nothing you can’t handle.  If you choose to stay within the confines of a negative cycle that compromises your authenticity, or is not aligned with your own values, you will struggle to cross that barrier of uncertainty.  It is that barrier that will become the very thing that habitually feeds you. 

Change for the positive will only come about if we have the courage and bravery to break away from the negative cycles that, generationally, some will entice us to be believe, in whatever way, are exactly where we need to remain.