Fear Is Just A Word
In my experience, more often than not, it is fear that prevents us from shifting from where we are to where we want to be.
Some of the words and feelings that are conjured up when we think of the word fear:
- Lack of control
If I were to take just one word out of that list, that I think really hinders us from breaking through the fear barrier, then I am immediately drawn to the word exposure. Exposing ourselves in all our glory most probably involves having to remove a mask; a mask that has become our constant companion; a mask that we choose to think protects us from all of the above; a mask that offers a barrier between not feeling and feeling. In reality it is that mask that incarcerates us in a self imposed bubble, preventing us from truly experiencing healthy love, pain, anger and joy, some of the feelings that remind us that we are connected and alive.
It is by clinging on to our fears that we inadvertently reinforce all the feelings that we are desperately trying to avoid; to me that sounds like prison. It is suffocating, restricting, limiting and pretty damn miserable. The problem is the discomfort becomes our comfort; fear becomes our coping mechanism to avoid dealing with anything that challenges our exposure. If we paralyse ourselves then we have no choice but to stay where we are, placing ourselves in some kind of strange reality where we feel safe and in control.
Suppressing what is naturally within us has got to be one of the biggest punishments we can inflict on ourselves; not just that, but that punishment can ripple out to the people that love us and we interact with on a daily basis. As adults we owe it to ourselves to let go of our limitations; to be released from the shackles of the past that we give misplaced power to; that has to happen if we are to find any kind of peace. As adults we then have an opportunity to show our children; our lovers; our friends; our families the way to being connected and alive, so that they too are free to do the same.
One of my own personal survival strategies has been transparency, it has not always been met with kindness and that hurts, but it’s real and honest and liberating. I have learned some very hard lessons about human nature and one thing I know for certain is those acts of projection are not because I embrace my vulnerability, but because the people I have encountered choose not to embrace theirs.
An image that comes in to my mind is seeing a child blowing bubbles and the excitement and joy they feel; those feelings can be so quickly replaced with utter disappointment when the bubble bursts and so there is a furious attempt to create more bubbles; bubbles are transient and inevitably they burst.
Perhaps consider changing your perception of the word fear and instead of being:
Frightened Enclosed Angry Rigid
Take yourself out of the bubble and choose to be:
Free Engaged Aware Real
That is what lies on the other side of FEAR!