Why don’t you trust yourself?
It is pretty common to feel like you have had to go through some sort of initiation test when it comes to trusting your own gut. I believe that when you learn to stop overriding it, it becomes your most loyal friend and guide. You may encounter a few near misses and some pretty challenging experiences that will test you but when you become open to the learning, growth and wisdom you have acquired you can’t fail to have a more enhanced understanding and trust in yourself.
On occasion I have come up against opposition towards my own natural intuition and I have often asked why that is. There are, of course, a lot of reasons why we can be triggered to go against what we naturally feel, for example:
Other people: What another person projects on an external level can tell a very different story to what you may naturally be feeling. We all know that people wear masks and if they are determined not to let their mask slip they can attempt to blind side you into not trusting your own feelings and, believe me, the more entrenched in their false persona they are the more they will use whatever tactics necessary to ensure that happens. So when you are interacting with another person and on some level they are not having a positive impact on you perhaps be open to the possibility that the intention behind that is something that is not personal to you but is merely an illusion that is being projected your way. At that point do not allow yourself to waiver by either questioning or going against what your gut truly knows. If emotions are being triggered for you step away from the situation and sit with those emotions, take the time to work through and understand them. As a result not only will you naturally rise stronger, but above all you are much better equipped not to buy into the illusion of another. If you choose to go against your gut you run the risk of undermining your own worth so ask yourself why you would disempower yourself in that way.
Fear of being wrong: Okay so we don’t always get things right, that said my view is that we can neither grow or learn if we don’t take, what may feel like, the odd wrong turn. If we are ruled solely by ego then we are going to hit a lot of brick walls and remain pretty blocked to both growth and learning. When the occasion necessitates, by leaving our ego at the door we can begin to let go of fear. You know what they say ‘the only thing to fear is fear itself!’. I believe that if you are feeling fearful around a situation or a decision perhaps listen to that feeling; I am pretty certain your gut is not telling you ‘never to step out of your fear zone’; but moreover it is a warning sign for you to approach particular challenges in a different way so that you create the opportunity to allow a better result. What your gut is actually saying is ‘forewarned is forearmed’, trust it.
A sense of responsibility: When you come up against situations that are both unjustified and unfair but those situations give you no leeway to prove otherwise that can really challenge your own gut feelings. Remember that the very nature of an unjust and unfair situation predisposes the wronged party to feel somehow responsible therefore abdicating all responsibility from elsewhere. Don’t go against your intuition in a quest to prove something, learn to sit with it and leave the responsibility firmly at the offending door. People and systems that don’t tend to take responsibility lack integrity and an intrinsic trust in anything, since when was that your responsibility? ‘Not my circus, not my monkeys’, step out of the ring and get on with living.
Societal and familial conditioning: Words like ‘intuition’ are ridiculed by some parts of society and within some familial systems; someone once described me as unhinged because of my strong intuition. I am actually extremely grounded, articulate and nobody’s fool. We all have intuition and it is fundamentally our openness to trusting it that allows and ignites it. People that ridicule it are uninformed, closed and fearful which is why they will attempt to manipulate and undermine you. Interestingly I read an article the other day where extensive research had evidenced that the more childhood trauma a person had suffered the stronger their intuition; it argued that such an ability developed as a form of protection. In my mind it becomes a well earned superpower that if both trusted and used in the right way will totally enhance your choices and decisions for the good, particularly if you are open to working through the more negative aspects of your life. Some of the most successful people are highly intuitive. Individuality, creativity and authenticity can not be encompassed without allowing your basic instinctual ability to shine through.
In conclusion my sense is that if you don’t trust yourself then you are going to have issues around trusting anyone else. Remember you know yourself better than anyone. Perhaps start to open up to the fact that your gut is your very own barometer, so learn to value it and ultimately listen to what it is saying. Why? Because you are unique, vital, significant and what you feel really does count!