So what is so life changing and transformative about coaching?
I guess there are a number of ingredients that need to be thrown in to the mix to maximise the potential for a really significant shift. In no particular order of importance I will cover the areas that I feel are pretty crucial to achieve a desired outcome.
The Coach/Client Relationship:
It is vital that when you are embarking on any kind of joint partnership that the basic foundations are solid. So, like any relationship, when you are selecting a Coach that person has to feel right; it is essential during this process that you are able to strike a good rapport with your coach and vice versa; so listen to your gut when speaking with someone because you will know if this person will be able to resonate with you or not. The relationship has to have clear boundaries and there has to be both honesty and integrity from both sides. A lack of transparency and trust will undoubtedly hinder getting the absolute best out of your coaching experience.
Be really clear in your own mind what you want to gain from this experience:
By that I don’t mean you have to come with all the answers, that is part of the process. This is an investment in you and so it is naturally more beneficial if you are fully committed to exploring what limits you; and, as a knock on effect, the changes you will inevitably have to make to enhance any real and lasting shift. It is worth considering that there needs to be a willingness to take responsibility for you; by that I mean how you behave, how you communicate with others and how you react to situations and challenges. If you are prepared to tackle, what I believe to be fairly fundamental areas, with an openness, then you have a much better opportunity to fully integrate what is illuminated in a much more dynamic and connected way.
What I feel is the transformative bit:
Although I have worked with other disciplines I believe that embarking on the coaching process is totally transformative. Why? Apart from it being a collaborative relationship, that is person centred and based on equality; it is such a wonderful opportunity to go on an exploration of the self. The reality is that we hold all the answers within us; they just get skewed along the way by external influences; when this happens there is the potential that we live a life that holds on to unhealthy projection; fear; confusion; need; and mistrust. The end result is we tend to move further and further away from who we are and where we want to be. We place unrealistic expectations on ourselves and others and ultimately set ourselves up to survive rather than thrive. This unfolding allows you the freedom to unearth the real you; not the person you have been told you are or indeed the person you think you should be. So by working on both our internal and external worlds we learn the art of alignment; balance; self-trust; self-belief; self-worth; and ultimately self-love. The more we learn to sit with who we really are; what we feel passionate about; what ignites us and drives us; what potential we have; we then begin to develop a way of being that feels tangible and real; this in turn helps us to reinforce our belief and ability to take those transformational steps. By doing so we truly allow ourselves to step in to an opening that is there for the taking and that my friends is life changing!